I am a writer. I forgot that somewhere along the line. I’m not a good writer, but I am a writer. I used to love the creative process that writing entails. The seed of the idea being planted. Watching it germinate and grow, and sometimes wither away and die. It’s an amazing process. It’s almost like raising a child. I wonder, if that’s maybe why my writing slowly tapered off. I was busy raising my children. I used to write when they were little, but somehow, taking care of them then was so much easier than when they were entering adolescence.
My children aren’t really children any longer. At sixteen, they’re entering young adulthood and while they still need
me my car and my debit card, they don’t need me as much, and while I’m still, and always will be their parent, I’m pretty much done with the creative part of raising them. Their moral compass is pretty well formed, they know right from wrong, and how to be good people. Maybe it’s time for me to start focusing on my creative side again.
I did start working on an old fanfic of mine, and it’s been fun. But more fun for me was re-reading some of my old fanfics. They’re not creative works of art, but they were creative. I actually cried reading one of them today when I found out I killed a beloved character. I cried at some of the spelling and grammar errors too, but that’s a blog for another day, lol.
My point is, my writing had the ability to touch someone emotionally, even if it was only me. I think it’s time to stop saying I’m going to write, and stop playing at writing, and actually write. I may never sell anything, and other people may never read, or like what I write, but as long as I’m happy with it, does that really matter? Not so much, I think?
Would I like to be paid for my work? Hell to the yeah! I mean, really who wouldn’t? Will I be? I don’t know. As I keep telling my kids, I haven’t mastered that whole seeing into the future thing yet, and if I do, powerball is totally mine. So yeah, I think it’s time to start pushing myself creatively again. I need the outlet, and I need to do something that makes me proud of me.