For a long time, I subscribed to the theory that you couldn’t really be with someone until you learned to be with yourself. By being with yourself, I mean learning to be alone, and not NEEDING to have someone in your life. Just being comfortable with who you are. And it was true – every time a relationship ended, I would take some time getting to know me and then when the time was right, usually when I wasn’t looking, poof there would be a new guy.
I still kind of believe that. I sincerely do not believe that you can be in a happy healthy relationship unless you have a good grasp on who you are and you like that person. I don’t believe you have to love every single thing about yourself or anything like that, but you need to be comfortable with you.
But now, I’ve been divorced since 2005 (I think). I honestly can’t remember when it became official because the relationship ended long before it did legally, and pretty much, I’ve been alone since then. There are lots of things I don’t mind doing by myself and there are things I HATE doing by myself. I absolutely HATE going to things at my kids school alone. HATE HATE HATE with a passion equal to the heat of a thousand nuclear bombs hate. Being around all those happy families really wears me down. Part of it is my own fault. I’m not very community oriented, so despite living in this town forever, I don’t know a lot of people.
Where am I going with this? I’ll tell you. I’m done with being alone. But I don’t get how to meet people any more. I met ex-hubby strictly by chance at a lake one day. Boyfriend before that was a set up by friends, and fiance before that was through work. I don’t KNOW how or where to meet people any more. It’s certainly not at the gym because HELLO, at the gym, I look all sweaty and disgusting and it’s NOT a pretty sight lol. I work in a school that is mostly filled with women, and lets be honest, I can’t afford to use online services.
What’s a girl to do?