Well Color Me…..

My ramblings on the world in general and my life in particular

…unhappy with myself

| 1 Comment

Have you ever been unhappy with yourself?  I have, in fact I am.  I am unhappy about so many aspects of my life, yet I lack the motivation to do anything about it.  I am fat, not just overweight, not full figured, I am fat.  Yet I don’t exercise, and I don’t do anything to change me eating habits.

I am poor.  Not living on the streets out of my car poor, but I am poor.  I have a full time job, but I suck at money management.  There are several things I COULD do about this.  I could devise a budget and follow it, and I COULD get a second job, but I don’t.  Why?  Because it’s so much easier to come home after work and collapse on the sofa and do nothing.

I am lonely, but I do nothing to change that.  I don’t reach out to my friends and make plans.  I don’t go anywhere or do anything, I just sit.

I wonder if perhaps I’m suffering from depression, but I think, no, I’m probably not, and I’m just using that as an excuse to do nothing.  End result, I am unhappy with myself, and I look to remain that way because I won’t do anything about it.


One Comment

  1. Tracie,
    You ARE suffering from depression. What you describe is exactly that.
    Whether it’s thyroid related or brain chemistry, please talk to your doctor about. As someone who suffered decades of deep depression without receiving medication I can guarantee that you need it.
    You know that I’m vegan and health conscious so I’m not into pushing pills, but in this case the right meds might help.

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