Well Color Me…..

My ramblings on the world in general and my life in particular

….Neither Bendy nor Stretchy


With the kids out of college, I decided to start doing a few things for me. I joined a gym, and with the exception of the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a pretty good job. I signed up for stitch fix and I’ve gotten a few boxes from them. Stitch Fix is pretty cool. You fill out a super detailed questionnaire and they send you clothing based on your likes and dislikes.  I’ll be completely honest some of the stuff can be a little pricey – especially if your idea of upscale clothing is Target lol – and I do.  But I like the ease of stitch fix, the clothes come to me, I try them on, put what I don’t like into the pre-paid packaging and pop it into the mailbox.  Easy Peasy.  If you want to check it out and sign up,  you can go here.  A few tips, if you have pinterest, pin styles that you like and share it with stitch fix.  They’ll usually send you a piece of jewelry – I always send that back, honestly, you can find your accessories for a lower price if you just look around.  They give you an option to share a note with your stylist about likes and dislikes. Do it and be as specific as possible and if you send things back, also be as specific as possible about what you didn’t like.  And the last big time.  Try stuff on…don’t just look at it and say yes or no. You HAVE to try it on.   But I digress from the topic at hand, and that is me being neither bendy nor stretchy.

I signed up for a yoga class though the next town’s over Adult ed program.  Yes, my gym has classes included in my membership, and yes, yoga is one of the classes they offer.  So why then, am I NOT taking yoga there, and paying for it elsewhere?  Well I’ll tell you, I’ve seen the people walking in and out of that class and they all look like perfect barbies who know exactly what they’re doing.  They all wear the right clothing and have all the right equipment. Yes I realize I’m being judgemental, I’m a terrible person.  When I go to the gym, I schlep in wearing crappy workout gear and I just do my thing.  I don’t want to schlep into that class in my schlubby clothing with all those barbies and have NO CLUE what I’m doing. So I signed up for this class to learn the basics.  That way when I schlep on in to the classes at my gym, I’ll at least have a semblance of a clue.

Yoga is supposed to be focused inward.  You focus on you, on your breathing and on your movements.  You don’t compare yourself to anybody else, and you don’t push yourself to stretch into pain.  HOWEVER I  truly am neither bendy, nor am I stretchy, so it’s pretty challenging not to compare myself to people when I can’t do ANYTHING.  When I stand up straight, I automatically raise my shoulders, when I bend over I can’t get my hands past my knees, never mind touching the floor.  When I think my back is flat, it’s as round as can be.  There is no peace and tranquility when you’re trying to figure everything out and get your body into positions that it is not meant to be in.  And breathing….I can barely remember to exhale on a lift when I’m in the gym.  The breathing with yoga is soooo challenging.  The instructor says breath in through this, and by the time she says to breath out, I’m on like my fifth breath because I’m practically hyperventilating from trying to do the move.

And the names of the poses…I cannot for the life of me remember what anything is called.  When I get home from class, the fam is like so what did you learn tonight and I seriously just stare at them with a blank look on my face.  They think I’m just being a jerk, but I seriously have no clue.  We did this dog thing and a tree thing, and some warrior guy 3 different ways, and a mountainy thing, but I couldn’t begin to tell you what they are.  And the instructor doesn’t want us talking during class.  Um, hello, how am I supposed to learn if I can’t ask questions?

Then at the end, there is this thing where we’re supposed to lay down on our mats and relax with our eyes closed.  Um….I’m sorry, but closing my eyes in a room full of strangers is not relaxing for me.  It was relaxing for the lady next to me, she fell asleep and was snoring – LOUDLY.  I’m glad it was relaxing for that person, and I don’t care if they snored, but seriously I guess I’m just a paranoid person or something, but laying there with my eyes shut, I’m waiting for something bad to happen.

So I’m waiting for it get better – one thing I know is it can’t get any worse.  At least I hope it can’t.  And I know there are things I can do to make it better for me, but I don’t think I’m ever going to be the kind of person who can bend themselves into a pretzel, lol.




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