I suppose a more politically correct way to say it may be that I am lacking in motivation, but when it comes right down to it, I’m lazy af. I have some amazing ideas, but I totally lack on the follow through and it’s starting to piss me off. Last March, I joined a gym, and during the school year, I went sporadically. Summer came and I did better about going. School started again, and you couldn’t pay me money to step foot into the gym. I say it’s because I’m too tired after dealing with the crap I deal with at school, and that’s true, to a point. I manage to have enough energy to make it for beers on Friday – why can’t I make it to the gym? Sitting like a lump avoiding life. Why? Because I’m LAZY!
I signed up for a couple of classes on Udemy. Have you ever heard of Udemy? It’s pretty cool, people who know things, share them online and you can learn about them for cheap. So there are a few topics I wanted to explore, and I signed up, But it’s a struggle. Part of it is I’m not an auditory learner and I hate sitting and listening to videos as a way to learn. I can’t listen to the lectures at work because I work, and at night, when I have time to listen to the lectures, what am I doing? I’m reading and/or watching television. Sitting like a lump avoiding life. Why? Because I’m LAZY!
Writing! I’ve made no secret about my desire to write. I used to LOVE to write, and did so all the time. But I suddenly stopped. I don’t know why, I just stopped. I have so many ideas running through my head for books, and I even have a couple that I started. Then, I just stopped writing. I don’t know why, I don’t know what happened, I just stopped. And at night when I could be writing, what am I doing? Sitting like a lump avoiding life. Why? Because I’m LAZY!
I don’t know how to fix this singular lack of motivation in life. I’m truly stymied. I’ve thought about getting up earlier in the morning to do things, but the only problem with that is I hate mornings with a deep and abiding passion, and when I do get up early, it takes an hour to get my brain engaged enough to do anything. Staying up late isn’t really an option because I truly need that 8 hours of sleep, at least that’s what I tell myself. I simply could just be as lazy as fuck.