Well Color Me…..

My ramblings on the world in general and my life in particular

February 7, 2018
by Tracie

…a Bit Broken and Battered

When one becomes a teacher, they don’t necessarily think about the possibility of getting physically injured.  Carpel Tunnel? Sure.  Eye strain?  Oh yeah.  Cirrhosis of the liver from too much drinking?  Well that one’s a given lol.  But actually getting physically injured because of a student?  That a bit broken and batteredone never ever crossed my mind.  Yeah in the back of my mind, I thought teaching would involve Disney animals frolicking in to my classroom to help decorate and keep it tidy.  Naive? Absolutely. But somewhere, I knew there was some middle ground.  Oh how wrong I was.

My classroom is furnished in early American cast off.  My teacher desk is a relic from the 1950’s, or possibly earlier.  It’s a big assed old wooden desk that is virtually indestructible.  I say virtually because the last one I had got a whole kicked in the side by an angry student.  I won’t bring in a fan because they’re easy to be picked up and can be used as a weapon, and when I brought in floor lamps, I was able to tuck them into corners with other furniture in front of them so they are not easily accessible and can’t be picked up and thrown.  These are the things teachers have to consider.  Probably not all teachers, but I do.

I also never in my life thought that I would be breaking up fights, but I do, and in fact, I did last week, which is why I am indeed a bit broken and battered.  I’ll give both kids credit, neither one of them wanted to hurt me, only each other.  Unfortunately, they were both fine and I’m the one in in pain.  Between the chairs that got thrown, and the young man who was channeling his inner Hulk, there was me.  Again, not something I ever envisioned when I was in college.

So I’ve iced, and I’ve used heat.  I’ve rested and I’ve taken countless Aleve, Advil, and Tylenol trying to work through the stiffness and pain. But when both boys came back today after their suspensions, I greeted them with smiles.  Because even though I am a bit broken and battered, I am a teacher, and I don’t give up on them.


February 4, 2018
by Tracie

…A Victim of Ageism

Yep, it finally happened. I’m not talking about the bazillion of AARP things I get in the mail and in my email. I’m talking about out and out being judged on my age, and while it’s funny, it’s dead wrong as well.

a victim of ageismA week or so ago, my darling daughter and I were at the mall and we stopped into Ulta. We browsed and tried samples and we each finally found our purchases. We both got into line and went to different cashiers. As I was paying, the cashier threw a free sample of something in my bag, and my initial thought was “YIPPEE!”

When I got home, I found a 7 day supply of Serovital. Now for those of you who don’t know what it is, SeroVital is an affordable oral formula that encourages the pituitary gland to increase growth hormone production at a more youthful rate*, naturally, without dangerous drugs or synthetic hormone injections. It’s called SeroVital®-hgh. And it just might change your life.

Now here’s the thing, I’m fifty-one but according to my students, I don’t look my age (except for the freaking dark circles under my eyes that will never go away). I don’t think my students are trying to be nice – that’s not the way they roll. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t look like I’m twenty, but I don’t look like I’m in my fifties. That being said, I had heard about Serovital and was curious about it, so I figured a 7 day free sample was great. Then I thought a 14 day free sample would be better and I asked my darling daughter if I could have hers. “I didn’t get any mom,” was her response.

At first I was like -yeah, no big deal, she doesn’t need it, but then it hit me and I got pissed. They gave me that sample based upon my AGE. That’s just freaking wrong people. WRONG WRONG WRONG. So to the makers of SeroVital, if this was your idea, bad marking campaign, and Ulta if this was your idea, you just suck and I’m never shopping in your store again.

As far as discriminatory acts go, it’s not huge, in fact, compared to some age discrimination things, this is barely a blip on the radar. But it happened, and it’s wrong, and to turn your back on a wrong doing is condoning it, and I won’t do that.


January 29, 2018
by Tracie

…A Binge Watcher

I’ve never been a binge watcher before -unless you count my yearly Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-watch.  But other than Buffy, I don’t binge watch.  Even when I decided to watch Stranger Things, it took me a couple of weeks to get it done.  But then, it happened.  As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t have much of a life, so Friday nights will often find me home, tucked up in bed at an early hour, decompressing from  a week of teaching.  Well, let me be the first to tell you, there isn’t a ton of decent television to watch, on Friday nights when most intelligent people are out having a social life.

...a binge watcherSo there I’d sit on Friday nights, tucked up under my covers, reading, eating popcorn (before I started the keto diet, but that’s a blog for another day) and aimlessly channel surfing.  And then….I found it.  It being Ancient Aliens.  Yes, I know it is quite possibly the lamest of lame shows in the history of lame shows.  It’s premise is that everything that happened in the past is because of ancient aliens.  The pyramids, Noah’s Ark, Bigfoot, you name it, and they say it’s because of ancient alien visitors to this planet.

I started watching as a lark, then I found myself counting down the seconds until Friday night so I could watch, when it was on.  On Demand!  That’s right, Ancient Aliens is on demand, and so my binge watching obsession has begun.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that isn’t any other form of intelligent life out there.  If we’re the best there is, then the universe is in a world of hurt.  I’m also not saying that these alien lives have never visited this planet.  Heck they may even be responsible for the pyramids.  I don’t know, and quite honestly, I don’t care.  My enjoyment comes from watching this lame show and giggling to myself every single time they say “ancient alien theorists.”  Seriously, if I this who was around when I was in college, it would have totally replaced “Hi Bob,” as my favorite t.v. watching/drinking game.

I literally come home from school, cook dinner, clean up, spend some time with the family and when I head up to bed, I’m practically doing a happy dance.  I take my shower, dry my hair, and crawl into bed and queue up Ancient Aliens on demand and let it go.  The only reason I’m not done yet is aI keep falling asleep, cause you know, it’s night time.  So I’ll continue my binge watching and learning about how the ancient Greek and Roman gods were actually ancient aliens, and how Noah’s Ark was actually a DNA repository.  Thank you History Channel for this complete awesomeness. My life is now complete 😉


January 20, 2018
by Tracie

…Lacking a Life, and That’s Okay

Lacking a Life, and That’s Okay


I realize that I’m kind of a boring person.  I’m a homebody.  I don’t particularly like going out.  In my younger days, I was quite the night owl, these days, I find myself going to bed fairly early. To put it simply, I’m lacking a life, and that’s okay.

lacking a life, and that's okay

not my bed

There are plenty of occasions when I have a life, and that is also okay.  But tonight, I’m lacking a life and I’m oh so glad.  Why, because I am sitting here in what is quite possibly Nirvana.  A freshly made bed, made with freshly washed sheets, into which I have slipped my freshly showered body wearing freshly washed jammies.

It sounds lame, but I assure you, it’s not. What I’m doing, is finding pleasure in something simple and basic.  Sometimes it’s not about how much you have, and what you have.  Sometimes you just need to find joy and happiness in the little things.  And right now, there is nothing more pleasurable than clean sheets and a freshly made bed.   It’s something I’m trying very hard to do, stop wanting what I don’t have, and finding pleasure in little things.

It’s a good lesson to learn, and a good way to live.  And right now, I’m enjoying my freshly made bed and my not having a life.




January 19, 2018
by Tracie

…A Very Private Kind of Person

A Very Private Kind of Person

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately for a variety of reasons, and I’m starting to learn a lot about myself.  I’m kind of a very private person.  If a very private kind of personyou met me, you wouldn’t think that, because I’ll talk to people (friends) just about anything.  I’ll share what’s going on in my life, the good, the bad and the ugly.  What I don’t talk about however, is how I actually feel.  I keep that stuff held deep inside of me.

Remember the scene in Shrek between Shrek and Donkey?

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.

That’s kind of what I mean.  I have no problem showing a lot of surface, but there isn’t anybody who really knows what goes on beneath the surface.  I do keep a lot to myself, because I really don’t believe that there are a lot of people who would understand, or care. It’s easier to be a very private kind of person and if not easier, it’s a heck of a lot safer.  If you keep it all to yourself, nobody has the power to hurt you.




January 17, 2018
by Tracie

…A Huge Lover of Snow Days

A Huge Lover of Snow Days


I’m a bad teacher, I totally admit that.  Why?  Because I am a huge lover of snow days.  I don’t care about making days up later in the year.  I really don’t.  There is something simply wonderful when that phone call or text comes in or the message flashes across the bottom of the television.  I don’t a huge lover of snow daysknow why, but when there is a snow day, I love to sleep in.  I can’t manage to do it on the weekends, but on  a snow day, I can snuggle back under those covers and go back to sleep.

I think snow days are God’s way of realizing that teachers need extra time off during the winter.  We get to school before light, we go home after dark and we’re cooped up inside with cranky kids all day long.  The only real drawback to snow days in my school district is for our para-educators.  We have five built in snow days in the school calendar, and they only get paid for two. I always feel bad when I hear about the possibility of a snow storm because while I’m praying for the snow day, they’re praying it doesn’t happen so they can get paid.

So sure, maybe we’ll have to go a few extra days this spring, but I’m okay with that, because today, I got a snow day.


a total bookworm

January 15, 2018
by Tracie

…A Total Bookworm

Well Color Me…A Total Bookworm

I am, and have been, for as long as I can remember, a total bookworm.  I love books, and I love to read.  Even when I was little, I loved reading.  Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of outside time, but reading was always my first love.  As a result, I was also a very imaginative kid.  I can remember being in my bed at night with my army of stuffed animals, reliving stories from books as I drifted off to sleep.  From there it developed into making up stories of my own.  Maybe that’s why I used to love writing fan fiction so much, but that’s a totally different blog for a totally different day.

Loving to read, and having a great imagination is a wonderful thing, but it’s not without it’s drawbacks.  I tend to think life is supposed to be like it is in the books that I read.  Guess what, it’s not.  Prince Charming is not coming it to sweep me off of my feet and make all my dreams come true.  I’m not that teacher that a total bookworminspires gang members from the inner city to throw off the chains of their lives and get free rides to college. And I’m certainly not winning the lottery and using all that money to change the world.  Of course on the plus side, there are also no vampires, aliens or zombies running around either.

Books are great, and for me, they’re a perfect escape.  I am a total bookworm and I don’t try and hide it. I love everything there is about books.  I used to carry a book with me wherever I went, so that if I had a spare minute, I could read.  The only problem with that was being out and finishing a book and having nothing left to read.  I fought the digital age tooth and nail.  I wanted nothing to do with an e-reader, until I got one.  Now, I love it because I have a bazillion books with me all the time.  And thanks to the many free/discounted book lists I subscribe to, I get books for free or for pennies.

However, I also have a problem.  I am a book  re-reader, meaning I have books that read over and over again.  I think it’s because they make me feel safe.  I know what’s going to happen, there are no surprises, and the characters feel like dear friends.  The only problem with that is to get those books on my e-reader, I have to pay for them.  I’m doing it, and it’s a process, and as I do, I get rid of the hard copy.  It’s my own little version of decluttering my life.  I will always love books, and I will always love reading, and yeah, I’ll probably keep wishing real life happened just like it does in my stories, but hey, there are worse things I could wish for, right?





January 11, 2018
by Tracie

…Like, Really Smart and a Very Stable Genius

Well Color me

….Like Really Smart and a Very Stable Genius

by Tracie

I waited a while before writing about this because I am truly not a political person, and I hate discussing politics. So I waited a bit to see if my ire would die down.  But it hasn’t, so I just have to let it out.  On January 6, 2018, the President of the United States Donald Trump took to twitter once again and let loose with a series of tweets letting the world know that he was like, really smart and a very stable genius.

like, really smart and a very stable genius


Now that Russian collusion, after one year of intense study, has proven to be a total hoax on the American public, the Democrats and their lapdogs, the Fake News Mainstream Media, are taking out the old Ronald Reagan playbook and screaming mental stability and intelligence…..

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018

Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…..

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018

to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018

Now I have some concerns here.  The first being that this man acts like a childish schoolboy on twitter.  He calls people names, and makes bullying statements.  I may be wrong, but I don’t think that is very presidential behavior.  I work in a high school and I see childish behavior on social media all the time, so I feel safe in saying I know what I’m talking aboaut.

I also don’t feel that people who are blessed with a higher intelligence A.  Go around talking about it on social media, and B. phrase it in valley girl speak.  Again, I could be wrong, but I am fortunate enough to know and work with a number of highly intelligent people, and none of them walk around talking about how very smart the are.  And if they were to do so, they would probably say that they were very smart, not “like, really smart.”

I am not equipped to comment professionally about the mental stability of Donald Trump.  I’m a teacher, not a mental health professional.  I do however work with some students who are mentally unstable, and it scares me because the president exhibits some of the same behaviors they do.  So in my non-professional, and very personal opinion, he is anything but stable.  And as far as being a genius, show me the IQ scores, and then we’ll talk.

I’m going to come out officially and say I’m not a fan of our latest president.  To be perfectly honest, very rarely am I a fan of our commander-in-chief, but I usually respect the person.  I may not agree with them politically, but they’re doing a very challenging job and hopefully doing it to the best of their ability.  That’s what scares me about Mr. I’m like really smart and a stable genius. I don’t think the best of his ability is all that good, and it’s going to hurt us as a nation.





January 10, 2018
by Tracie

…Annoyed AF

Well Color Me…Annoyed AF

by Tracie

I understand that I work with a very special population at school.  The kids I work with are diagnosed with emotional and behavioral disorders, emotional disturbances, emotional handicaps and other health impairments.  It’s a veritable disaster on a daily basis.  They are rude, inconsiderate walking disaster areas, and generally, I love them.  Because of it or in spite of it, I’m not sure, but I really care about these kids.  But there are just some things that i don’t get and I end up annoyed AF.

annoyed AFMost of these kids are on one kind of medicine or another to help them with their disability.  Some of them take meds for ADHD, and others for anxiety.  None of these meds are designed to help the kids not be idiots, yet they will come in, and be incredibly rude and disrespectful and blame it on the fact that they didn’t take their ADHD mets or their anti-anxiety meds.  Or they’ll claim that they can’t go to class because it stresses them out to be in a room full of people they don’t know, yet we inevitably find them hanging out in the cafeteria with 200 of their closest friends.  They have to be friends because they aren’t comfortable being in a classroom with 20 people that they don’t know, so I can only assume they know the 200 kids in the cafeteria because they’re not exhibiting any signs of anxiety.

These kids are also pros at knowing exactly how to press another person’s buttons, and that includes mine.  usually I’m a pro at just rolling with it and letting them play their games but there are times when I am under a lot of pressure and just can’t deal with their bologna.  Today is one of those days.  Well let’s be completely fair and honest, this week is one of those weeks.  I’m displaced from my very small classroom and now sharing an equally small classroom with the other teacher in my program.  He’s being an absolute peach about sharing, but I know it isn’t any easier or him than it is for me.  He keeps his room pretty simple and basic, and that works great for him.  I’m more of a make the classroom feel like home, and that works for me.  Our individual styles don’t work well together.  But a huge shout out to him for making the sacrifice and sharing and putting up with all my STUFF.  So I’m annoyed AF by all of this, and then you get kids who sense it and hone in on it and do whatever they can to make it worse.

I suppose it actually shows how good they are at reading people.  I know for them, it’s a defense mechanism.  In their home situations and lives, they have to be able to get a good read on a person or a situation quickly so that they know how to protect themselves.  It’s like a super power or something.  If only they’d use that power for good and not annoying me.  Hopefully the week will get better, but I’m going to be displaced for a while so I’m not getting my hopes up.



January 8, 2018
by Tracie

…To Exhausted for Words

Well Color Me… Too Exhausted for Words

by Tracie

Last Tuesday, we headed back to school after a far to short Christmas Break.  The winter brought us bone chilling cold, and then a blizzard.  As I previously blogged, this resulted in a ruptured water pipe somewhere in my classroom.  Today was the first day back after an unscheduled four day break, and a lot of stress and worry about the situation at school.  And after that first day back, I am too exhausted for words.

I got to school, armed with Jeep full of donations and a go fund me that was growing by the minute. I headed in and made my way to my classroom, the classroom that on Friday they had assured me would be good to go on Monday.  Guess what?  It wasn’t.  I had left a bunch of stuff in my neighbor’s classroom to dry and first things first, I moved them out so that he would have room to, you know, teach.  From there I went out and about to track down the admins to find out what the situation was and what would be my home away from home. The were found, and I was told I was moving to the 4th floor.  Um – no thank you.  I suggested sharing with the other teacher in my program and got the ok.  And then, I got told that perhaps I shouldn’t have put a call out of supplies or started a go fund me.  Yep, 7:00 a.m. and I was already officially exhausted from stress.

After getting my car unloaded and all the stuff stowed away, I moved the things I needed immediately back into the room of the other teacher in my program. Honestly, I thought I was going to be fine, I plugged in my laptop, which appeared to escape getting water damage, and turned it on.  Success!  It was working.  Well, it was working until I tried to type a word with the letter M, or use a comma, or a period, or a question mark, or various keys on the number pad.  That just sent me over the edge of depression.  Added to that, I had to use the laptop on the wifi, which I hate, and

Well color me too exhausted for words

I’m exhausted

my day was going downhill fast.

At the end of the day, without any answers as to what was going on and how long I was going to be displaced, I found out that the first floor was being re-located to the forbidden section of the third floor so they could clean.  Clean what, I’m still not sure.  So I started helping move stuff up to the third floor, but we can only use one of the elevators because the other elevator is no longer allowed to access the forbidden section of the third floor.  So after lugging boxes and chairs and various other pieces of furniture up two flights of stairs and down a long hallway, I grabbed my poor M-less laptop and headed to the computer fix it store.

And now I’m home with a receipt for $230.00 to turn in for my computer and the promise that it will be back next week.  I have started my detailed list of what was destroyed in my room to get replaced, and I’m already in need of another vacation.  And as I sit here, watching a mindless, brainless television, trying to escape the reality that was today, all I can say is Well Color Me…Too Exhausted for Words.